This question can save your life

by Alexa Ispas on June 16, 2010

‘One’s real life is often the life that one does not lead.’  Oscar Wilde

Creating legacy and mortality

In the bestselling ‘The Book Thief’, author Markus Zusak uses death as a narrator, and begins with these two sentences: ‘Here is a small fact. You are going to die.’

Personally, I think this is the one small fact that we are trying all our life to forget. And in order to forget it, many of us postpone doing the things that we desperately want to do before we die, because doing them implies that time might might be running out.

So we leave the trip to Argentina, writing that novel, or launching that acting career for later, for when we are financially secure enough to have earned the right to live. In the meantime, we distract ourselves with chasing that promotion at that job we told ourselves we’re only taking to pay the bills, but to which we are sacrificing our every waking moment; impressing the boss we don’t really like just because he’s there to be impressed; and competing with our friends for who gets the biggest pay rise and making the biggest impression on our boss.

Up against the clock

The thing is, time is running out. Even though life expectancy in my neck of the woods is something like 79.4 on average, none of us knows when our time is up.

There are so many stories of people who were suddenly told they have a terminal illness. Quite often, their response is to use up their remaining time to do all the things they had always wanted to do, but had always postponed. And in the last months of their lives, these people suddenly discover what it is like to live, not to go through the motions pretending to be alive but to actually live.  

The question

So here is the question I promised you in the title: If you found yourself on your deathbed, what would you most regret not having done during your life?

We don’t usually talk about this question. It’s not polite to mention death in conversation. And we often even prevent ourselves from thinking about it as well.

But I think by avoiding the question of our own mortality, we are preventing ourselves from seeing the wood from the trees, from sorting out the things that are really important to us from the things that other people persuaded us are important.

The life that asking yourself this question can save is not the boring, routine life most of us are leading; it’s the life we want to lead but don’t have the courage to.

Ask this question of yourself today. Now. And whatever it is you think you will regret not having done if the moment of death was near, do it now. Don’t wait.

Don’t avoid thinking of your own mortality

In your daily life, stop avoiding questions about death. The certainty that death will should act as an impetus to make the most of the life we have. 

My guess is that once you start thinking of your own mortality, you will soon think about a way to leave a trace on this earth by creating legacy. But creating legacy takes time, and if you don’t start creating legacy soon it may be too late.

Death is bound to come for you, sooner or later, like it will for us all. The question is, when it comes: will you be happy with the way in which you have used your precious time on this planet?

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Happiness Project book review

by Alexa Ispas on June 15, 2010

Creating legacy and happiness

A while ago, I mentioned Gretchen Rubin’s fabulous book and blog The Happiness Project in a blog post about the relationship between creating legacy and happiness

Here’s a vlog review of The Happiness Project book I recorded recently. Enjoy! :)

By the way, I’m planning to record more vlogs with book reviews for the different books I’ve been blogging about, and post them on this blog. If you’ve got any particular requests, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

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The 6 characteristics of trust agents

by Alexa Ispas on June 11, 2010

‘ To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.’  George MacDonald

Creating legacy and engendering trust

Ambitious legacy projects often require the input of more than one individual. If you are a legacy creator in need of help, you therefore need to learn how to engender trust. In other words, you will have to become a trust agent, a term used by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith in their excellent book by the same title.

What being a trust agent entails

As Chris and Julien emphasise, being a trust agent is something that can be learnt, it’s not necessarily something you have to be born with. Here are six defining characteristics of ‘fully formed’ trust agents:

1. Making your own game. Trust agents, like most legacy creators, are particularly good at getting things off the ground without the gatekeepers. Bit by bit, their pioneering work becomes known by others who want to join them.

 2. Becoming ‘one of us’. Trust agents have a knack for getting people to identify with them. They do this by being highly aware of the unwritten rules of the community they are targetting, and behaving in such a way as not to upset the sensibilities of the people within that community.

 3. Using leverage. Trust agents often use something they have accomplished as leverage for more visibility with their next project. This again is something that legacy creators are also very good at, and yet another reason why legacy creators are well-suited to becoming trust agents.

 4. Becoming Agent Zero. Trust agents are good at being at the centre of wide, powerful networks. They do so by jumping at the chance to meet others online and at events, and connecting these new acquaintances with other people. This is course is strongly connected to leverage, as such networks are then highly useful in leveraging previous projects to reach more recognition with one’s current legacy project.

 5. Being a human artist. Trust agents are excellent at learning how to work well with people, empowering them, and recognising their strengths and weaknesses. They know when to improve relationships and when to step away, thereby constantly increasing the number of people who are willing to help them out on a project.

 6. Building an army. Trust agents are skilled at getting large groups of people together, to collaborate on specific legacy projects. When you can get a large group to collaborate, you can achieve monumental tasks that may have been previously impossible.

Are you a trust agent? How do you go about gaining people’s trust in your ability to lead a legacy project through to completion?

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Are you in the learning zone?

June 10, 2010

‘The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.’  Bertrand Russell
Creating legacy and the learning zone
The learning zone is located between things you find really easy to do (the comfort zone), and things that are so difficult that you don’t really have the courage to attempt (the panic [...]

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Creating legacy through small opportunities

June 9, 2010

‘Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great.’  Orison Swett Marden 
Creating legacy and small opportunities
Creating legacy is about making the very best of whatever happens to you. There’s no such thing as a small opportunity; there are just ‘opportunities’, which you can make the best of or not.
Every opportunity helps you [...]

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Creating legacy through deliberate practice

June 8, 2010

 ’It’s not necessarily the amount of time you spend at practice that counts; it’s what you put into the practice.’  Eric Lindross
Creating legacy and the need to practice
Creating legacy rarely happens by accident (even when it looks that way). Usually, legacy creators have to abide by the ten-year rule and use this time to continuously [...]

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Creating legacy the sensible way

June 7, 2010

‘Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyse you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.’  Bernice Johnson Reagon
Creating legacy and (not) killing yourself
Creating legacy is about stretching yourself just a little bit further every day. Where many people go wrong is that they are seized by an immediate urge to create legacy, suddenly realising that time [...]

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8 reasons why you should DIY

June 4, 2010

‘Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one’s own person is its ultimate reward.’  Patricia Sampson
Creating legacy through DIY
The term ‘DIY’ is well-known to legacy creators – it refers to the decision to start a legacy project yourself, without waiting for the approval of the gatekeepers. For musicians, DIY might mean releasing a record without [...]

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Becoming aware of behaviour patterns

June 3, 2010

‘Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconcious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.’  Steven R. Covey
Creating legacy and behaviour patterns
In living our lives, most of us develop particular behaviour patterns. The extent to which we prepare for a job; the frequency with which we are late [...]

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How to give yourself feedback

June 2, 2010

‘Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it.’  Michael J. Gelb
Creating legacy and feedback
Creating legacy is often a lonesome endeavour, even if you are lucky enough to have a good supportive network around [...]

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